So I’m having a bit of a rough day today. Luckily, my best friend wrote me some letters to take with me to Houston to read when I’m having days like today. And when I’m done here, I’m going to go get one of those, read it, and then continue watching netflix the rest of the day. But first I wanted to put some of my thoughts down on here.
Moving across the country with no one in tow is hard. Its all been made easier because I know my boyfriend will be joining me here in 5 months, but for the time being and for the past 3 months, it’s been interesting. Its made me become close to coworkers more quickly than I may have otherwise, made my job more important to me, made my students more central to my life, and made me think more.
I love my friends and my life back in Baltimore. I miss being able to have 4 options of things to do and people to hang out with. I miss having a big social network. I miss being an essential part of peoples lives. And sure, I know I’m still important to people back home… but distance pulls at the ties of relationships. While I am 100% confident that Allan and I are better than ever, I am lacking on most if not all of my friendships back home.
Here, I was expecting certain things to happen when I arrived. I was used to the social culture of my last job. And to say the least, it is not the same here at my new job. The social structure between me and other people in my position is very work-based. I know almost nothing about some of them others have their own schedules and lives and friends and show little to no interest in involving me in it. Some spend time with me. And others are the most important people in my life down here; And I am so thankful for them.
Its just not what I was expecting. I was so ready to come here, make change, and make this place more stable and run more smoothly… and don’t get me wrong, I think I am doing that, and I think I’m doing a really good job at it. I just wasn’t expecting the culture shock to be so strong.
I’m still transitioning, and I think the transition is going to continue for a few more months… and then I’ll be fortunate enough to start a new personal transition of living with Allan again in a space that is really ours and just ours. I’m gonna get through this…and even though I’m missing home really badly right now, I am loving Houston, loving my students, loving my job, and loving my friends… I am so thankful that I still have the support from Maryland to help me understand myself, get through this transition, and to make it past tough days… when I’m 1500 miles away.
Now… to my letter.